


Are We There Yet?

by AthrunYuy



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: BAMF Rodney, First Kiss, First Time, Hurt Rodney, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Ronon is proud, Team as Family, stuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 18:40:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1789162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AthrunYuy/pseuds/AthrunYuy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mission gone wrong nearly kills Rodney pushing forward feelings John has been hiding from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are We There Yet?

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't claim to own them but in my mind they're already mine so good enough for me.  
> As always, any mistakes are my own and I apologize if you find any.

~*~*~*~                                                               

Like most of the world's SGA-1 came across the planet P2X-4352 was filled with the chirps and rustling noises of forest. Two suns had already risen in the purplish sky turning the atmosphere hot and muggy causing instant perspiration to pop up on all four members of the team. Luckily though, to Dr Rodney McKay's relief, the thick foliage blocked out most of the sun's rays, creating large pockets of shade, making the ground level a suitable 23 degrees Celsius; but Rodney only took brief notice since he immediately began his scans for the elusive energy signature. The MALP hadn't been very helpful in determining what exactly the energy signature they were looking for was but they were all holding out on it being a ZPM. The Atlantis betting pool had the odds 3 to 1. As Rodney walked in a wide circle around the base of the large naquada stone ring, the other members of SGA-1 took the time to scoop out the area. Two nods one from Ronon Dex and the other from Teyla Emmagan let the fly-boy team leader Lt. Col. John Sheppard know that the coast was clear. Then they stood there watching as Rodney continued his little jaunt around the Stargate, the three military types just standing there waiting for a direction from the geek. 

"I'm not the rocket scientist, but, umm, isn't the signal away from the 'Gate?" John asked with a bored shrug, in return getting a smile from Ronon and a glare from Rodney. Shaking her head Teyla suddenly had the feeling that this was going to be a long mission.

While adjusting the settings on the scanner to get a read Rodney suddenly walked off leaving his team in his wake. With a shrug to the other two Sheppard followed.

~*~*~*~

After traveling for the better part of the morning, John was having trouble remembering why he had agreed to this in the first place, but then one look at Rodney's aggravated expression after asking repeatedly 'are we there yet?' made this long boring trip all the worth it. It was, after all, John's favorite pastime; pestering Rodney. And it would appear that he alone was the only one able to continue breathing after receiving the oh-so famous 'glare of death' McKay was legendary for. It was fun and it passed the time. Even though Rodney was clearly annoyed by the heat filled interruptions, he could not hide the small grin that played at his lips after bickering with John. Teyla and Ronon looked between the two as if watching a tennis match of witty remarks. Both ticking off in the air with a finger whenever they thought one or the other deserved a point from their playful battle of words.  
  
"We're almost there, I can feel it," Rodney mumbled, more to himself and the scanner than those around him, as he checked his calculations over again. Since the journey's beginning, the team was impressed by the lack of complaints coming from their usually vocal friend. Typically, Rodney would have ranted non-stop about having to walk, and about the lack of clearance it would have taken to fit a Puddle Jumper through the 'Gate, deeming the walk a waste of a genius's valuable time.  
  
John was on the verge of asking 'Are we there yet?' for the umpteenth time when he ran smack right into the scientist who had stopped dead in his tracks. Looking over Rodney's shoulder trying to ignore how good it had felt to be briefly pressed to the genius, he noticed the scanners readings were going off the chart. "So..." He drawled. "I take it we're here?"  
  
Rodney glared over his shoulder irritated by the obvious remark. "Yes, Colonel, we are here." Rodney's tone was the kind you used on a child. His glare wavered slightly when John gave him an oh-so innocent look and laughed in return. Just ahead was a small clearing circled by the thick forest; as they cleared the threshold, into the blinding light. John whipped his aviator glasses out of his pocket with more finesse then Rodney thought was needed. Boy, John's in a good mood today. Rodney couldn't help the thought as he smiled fondly following his team as they moved forward.  
  
Rodney squinted as the double sun's rays bounced off the shiny surface of his PDA, putting his hand over it didn't help. He glanced at John who wasn't paying attention to him, but was still standing close; as he always did on off-world missions, so Rodney didn't have to reach far, plucking John's glasses from him and placing them on his own head.  
  
"Get your own," John scolded half-heartedly making no effort to get them back, secretly liking the way Rodney looked in his shades.  
  
Rodney didn't rise to the bait, instead he consecrated on his PDA, found the information he needed and without looking back handed the glasses back with a mumbled thanks. "That's definitely it." Rodney pointed to a small dome like structure on the far end of the field.  
  
It was the size of a small barn, with moss covering most of it, a rectangular opening cut into the side. It looked innocent enough, but then again this was the Pegasus Galaxy after all. So naturally, when Ronon and Teyla passed into the darkened dome to investigate, John followed, Rodney dragging behind inspecting the structure. The moment John crossed the threshold the door they had entered through slammed shut. Leaving Rodney standing outside while his team was inside; a screeching sound starting the moment the door hit the ground. Rodney rushed to the door finding no mechanism to open it from his side. Faintly he could hear John calling at him through the door to open it.  
  
"John!?" he called out pounding on the door in frustration.  
  
"Rodney! Get us out of here!" John's voice boomed over the radio stuck in Rodney's ear making him jump. In his state of panic he completely forgot the fact that they all wore headsets. With a scolding growl to himself, Rodney reached up to activate it.  
  
"Colonel! Ronon, Teyla, you guys ok?"  
  
"Seemingly," John barked back clearly not amused by their current situation.  
  
"Can you open the door?" Rodney asked, feeling the wall for a possible open switch. "It obviously responded to your gene."  
  
"I've tried..."  
  
"Well, think harder!" Rodney cut him off reaching for his ever so present tablet he carried with him in his pack.  
  
"It's not working, Rodney!!" John replied back closing his eyes, despite the total darkness, to concentrate harder on the door opening but getting nowhere fast.  
  
"Ok ok, hum, what do you see? Maybe I can walk you through it manually," he suggested at the same time as his hands found a hidden panel.  
  
"There's nothing to see, Rodney," John's voice sounded strained as he tried not to bite the scientists head off. "It's not like there are any windows in here!"  
  
Rodney franticly hooked his tablet to the controls inside the hidden panel. "You don't see anything?"  
  
"There's no light in here, Rodney!" John's voice rose in frustration. Rodney's brain only half registers what John was telling him as he frantically tries to sync his system with the domes. Teyla's soft voice flutters over the radio and he hears a soft click, in which Rodney assumes was the sound of the P-90's light being turned on. "Uh, well, never mind. There is nothing in this room but a large stone table in the middle. No other doors, no windows, just solid rock. "  
  
The new information was useless to Rodney. "Ok. Just...Just...Just give me a second." Rodney couldn't get the words out as he tried to think quickly.  
  
The grating screeching noise that hadn't let up or stop since the moment the door had shut was seriously annoying and bordering on painful.  
  
"Can you at least make that blasted noise stop?!"  
  
"Well, which is it?! First you want me to get the door open, now it's stop the weird noise, will you make up your mind?" Rodney's nerves were about shot, but he knew the more pressure the faster he would work.  
  
"Fine, Do something about the noise." Rodney couldn't see John but could tell by his voice that his eyes had just narrowed in that 'annoyed' look he always gave him. "It's getting on my last nerve."  
  
"Finally we agree on something."  
  
In the dome Ronon and Teyla shared a look in what little light their P-90's gave off. "What noise, Sheppard?" Ronon asked, in his usual gruffly way as he leaned against the stone table, his expression actually showing concern but as always he looked way more relaxed than John was currently.  
  
Covering his ears to try and drown out the persistent not quite beeping noise that was making it hard to concentrate and all the while giving Ronon a 'duh' look before asking the obvious. "How can you not hear that?"  
  
Teyla looked back at John in concern, gently laying her hand on his arm. "John, we do not hear the noise in which you speak of."  
  
John stared at them open mouthed for a minute before getting confirmation that no, he wasn't losing his ever loving mind. "Rodney, you hear it too, right?"  
  
"Oh you mean besides the aggravating racket coming from your mouth? Yes, John! I do! You think it's loud in there; Try being out here!"  
  
"If I was out there, we wouldn't have this problem!"  
  
A growl exploded from Rodney's lips at losing his concentration from both John and the noise blaring in his ears, "Just shut up and let me work. If you'd stop interrupting me, I might be able to get something done."  
  
Over his radio he could hear John mumble something about overly brainy, stubborn, bossy scientists and their infatuations with binky things on scanners.  
  
"I can still hear you, you know!" Rodney retorted, working through the structure's mainframe. "Look, obviously it was your gene that set that thing off. Right now the reason for it is still unclear. So just sit tight unless you can manage some level of genius before I do!"  
  
After a head splitting half hour Rodney had blissfully shut the noise off, but had made no headway with the door. Doing what he did best, he multitasked between scans and translating the data, Rodney's brain started piecing things together. Snapping his fingers his brain slapped the final pieces of the puzzle together. "Oh... no no no no... not good." Smacking his ear piece, his voice seemed to rise in urgency. "Guys, we have a problem; a BIG problem; a really BIG problem!" Rodney paced back and forth pounding his fingers on the tablet.  
  
"What is it, McKay?" John tried to interject calm into his voice but he could still hear the dread underlining it. Oh god, what else could possibly happen now?  
  
"That," Rodney paused still formulating his thoughts, "that awful sound thing? I've heard it before."  
  
"Well?" John couldn't stop the frustrated sigh that escaped his lips; he hated being in the dark, literally and figuratively.  
  
Rodney's voice did not hide his fear and disgust as he swallowed, his mouth going dry. "It's Wraith." Something on his scanner caught his eyes causing him to pause again. "That was some sort of an alarm. It appears that this is some sort of cage for the ancients."  
  
"Come again?" John hated all this encrypted responses and wish he'd just spit it out. Rodney tended to forget that they weren't able to look over his shoulder and see what he was seeing on his tablet.  
  
"Look, the moment that you crossed the threshold it triggered a trap. The alarm goes off whenever an Ancient, or in this case you with a gene, crosses it, the door seals then alerts them of their catch."  
  
"Wait, so what you are saying is...."  
  
Rodney jumped in to finish John's sentence. "The Wraith are on their way here now!"  
  
"Then get us out of here!" John hollered through the stone wall as if he were standing right in front of him. Things could never just go easy for them, now could they?  
  
"It's not like flipping a light switch." He felt the familiar pressure around him to pull a miracle out of his ass in an incredibly short time frame. "There is complex coding to go through but now that I know its source I have to practically invent a whole new program to override it. So unless you know how to do this faster, I suggest you sit tight or the next thing you'll see is a catfish on legs."  
  
John huffed in frustration and slid down the wall behind him, giving his head a couple of bangs for good measure, he tried not to think about how Rodney was out there, by himself, and all John could do was sit on his ass while they waited for Rodney's miracle.  
  
He knew he was being a jerk; it wasn't Rodney's fault after all. He just couldn't stand not being able to do anything, being forced to wait while the enemy headed their way. He also knew that the anger he could feel bubbling in his stomach was from the sole fact that his best friend was on the other side of said wall, unprotected and he knew he would never forgive himself if something happened to him while he was forced to stand, well sit, by.  
  
Over the past couple of years something had changed. At first he couldn't say what exactly, but it was apparent something had changed. After some thought it became apparent that Dr Rodney 'let's go after the shiny beeping object' McKay was the root of said change. They had somehow, despite all odds, formed an unlikely bond with each other. Spending more time together, more time than John had ever spent with anyone. He had always put people at arm's length because when people got close it only hurt more to lose them. Too many people he had held dear had perished with him feeling helpless to save them, but somehow, the snarky scientist with the ability to chase people away with his words, better yet his glare, had managed to crawl beneath his well guarded walls and become something more.  
  
They should have been as opposite as oil and water, incompatible to the umpteenth degree, but even on the first day they had been drawn to each other, much to John's surprise. Their friendship had seemed to surprise Rodney as well, but neither could avoid what seemed inevitable. They had just seemed destined to meet. Rodney was the only person who could keep him grounded while he was the only one who could keep Rodney in line. They just complimented each other.  
  
Rodney always made him laugh, a true heartfelt laugh, which he hadn't done for years before joining the Atlantis expedition. Whether they were picking apart a movie or picking on each other, John always left the man feeling happier then when he went to see him. He alone was the only person who wasn't daunted by the other man's defense mechanism, and he found immense enjoyment in that fact. It had taken Rodney a while to get that his words, and glare, did not scare him off and after awhile Rodney started opening up to him. He learned a lot about the man from the countless hours they had spent together, on missions and hanging out afterwards and eventually John began to see Rodney as a friend.  
  
Lately, though, Rodney was becoming someone he cherished. Of course the rest of his team meant the world to him, but Rodney had somehow become someone worth living for. No longer was he so eager to be the first in line to die for the greater good. With Rodney around, there was always another option, and he trusted him. Somehow no words could properly describe his feelings for the man, but somewhere deep inside, in that tiny space in the back of his mind where his hearts emotions lye, he knew he was in love with his arrogant, sarcastic, brave, brilliant CSO. John Sheppard knew he would do anything for him, just like in this case. He could never find a way to say 'no' to him, and strange enough, he was ok with that because he would do anything to see that spark of fire in those blue eyes. Every time Rodney got excited about anything, it brought such a joy to John's heart.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Rows and rows of coding scrolled across his tablet as he painstakingly wrote the new program to override the door mechanism while keeping one eye on the scanner for signs that the 'Gate had been activated. By his calculations they had only forty-five minutes after the 'Gate was activated before their visitors would arrive. The only blessing Rodney could think of was the fact the 'Gate was surrounded by trees, which would force the Wraith to travel by foot like they had.  
  
Knowing that the walls were too thick to talk through Rodney and John kept an open link through their headsets. With Teyla keeping an ear out for any sign of the Wraith and Ronon never being a conversationalist, John and Rodney relied on each other to stay in the right mind. Mostly they bickered back and forth during the hour or so it was taking Rodney to write the override program, and even though Rodney would complain every so often that John was distracting, he knew that in reality it was to keep him focused and John calm.  
  
The program was almost complete and Rodney was starting to feel confident that maybe for once things weren't going to go horribly wrong. He changed his mind when he felt the now familiar press of a gun to his temple.  
  
"Stand up," a cocky voice, luckily not Wraith (though if it was Wraith they probably could have just shot him) ordered.  
  
Setting his tablet slowly on the ground Rodney did as he was told, his hands slowly raising in what he hoped was a non threatening gesture. From the short glance he got before the gun was pressed harder and a hand clamped on his shoulder forcing him to stay looking forward, he saw that the gun wilder was just a kid who couldn't have been older than 25. I don't have time for this. He thinks as a sigh of frustration escaped his lips.  
  
"Rodney?" John's voice sounded both frustrated and worried, because suddenly the snarky conversation had stopped. Rodney didn't even flinch and didn't dare answer him hoping that the idiot behind him hadn't heard it. Out of the corner of his eye he saw someone else walking towards them, gun in hand.  
  
"What are you doing with our master's temple?" The boy behind him hissed.  
  
Oh shit! Wraith worshippers! I should have known. Guess we have to do this the hard way.  
  
Without a second thought, for fear he would come to his senses, Rodney grabbed the gun pressed to his head while turning a flying arm hard at the kids face behind him. The kid stumbled back in surprise, holding his nose, shocked. Seeing what had happened, the other came rushing forward, gun raised, a shot ringing out, not only missing Rodney but actually managing to hit the other kid, killing him. The boy running towards him came to a halt as he watched his comrade crumble to the ground. Rodney barely registered John's frantic voice over the radio as he stood off with boy number two. Rodney's gun fired a split second before the boys, something caused him to stumble back slightly but all his brain processed was that the threat was gone and now his scanner was screaming at him that the 'Gate had been activated.  
  
"McKay! You have better answer me right now!" Through the haze and adrenaline John's frantic voice finally registered having been called to repeatedly, his usual comeback of 'I'm fine' didn't fly so well.  
  
"There was a slight problem out here but it's taken care of." Rodney quickly added before John could get a word in edgewise. "The 'Gate is activated; we're running out of time." Grabbing his abandoned tablet he desperately punched at it to try and get the program to download faster. "Now, will you please be quite for just a moment?" He hadn't really meant to snap at the worried Colonel, well at least not this time, but even as his claws came out the only thing pushing him onward was an inner monologue. Can't let John down. Can't let John down.  
  
At the first sound of gunshots John had been on his feet pounding on the thick stone door so hard he was sure he had a possible cracked finger or three. He barely registered that Teyla and Ronon where on either side of him mimicking his futile efforts to get to his endangered friend.  
  
He hadn't even realized he was holding his breath until it all escaped his lungs after Rodney responded with his normal snarky comeback. He knew that time was of the essence and Rodney wasn't going to explain until he had gotten them out.  
  
But something was definitely wrong. Rodney's voice had changed, it edged on hysteria and it made his heart sink in fear for the one thing he was supposed to be protecting, not the other way around, "What's wrong?" John's near whisper came out dreading the answer as he slumped back against the stone table in defeat.  
  
"Besides the obvious? Nothing, I'm fine." Not getting anything else from the man sent alarm bells ringing in John's head that he was not fine. He sounded fine, but when you got an 'I'm fine' from Rodney McKay, there was defiantly something wrong, but it was going to have to wait. Moments before the gunfire had gone off Teyla had informed him that she had sensed the Wraith's presence on the planet. His efforts had been useless and now he paced the small space feeling like a caged lion, while Teyla kept him updated on the Wraith and Ronon readied himself to go out guns blazing. Teyla wasn't able to keep the anger out of her skilled eyes and Ronon just looked like he was going to kill the first thing that moved once they got out, but John felt he was being selfish in his inner rage. The air seemed charged with anger and worry as it struck John that he loved his team. Family was all it came down to in the end.  
  
Rodney being hell-bent on not letting his team down, especially John, went back to work hoping for no more distractions. Luckily there were none from the outside world, but his hands shook and a cold sweat started forming on his brow. 'Adrenaline,' Rodney's brain supplied absently. Determination was winning over his need to stop; his mind completely preserved on the task at hand hadn't yet noticed the damage done to his body. That last shot had hit its target penetrating his side just left of his navel. He knew something was different but chalked it up to adrenaline and symptoms of his hypoglycemia. With time running out, Rodney willed his computer to work faster and to his great relief, as well as everyone else's, the doors slid open with a reluctant sigh.  
  
With Rodney reminding them about the countdown, the three warriors didn't have time to assess their friend's condition too closely. John had to bite down on his first instinct to run over to Rodney and inspect every inch of him, but seeing that he was mostly upright, his primary task of getting away as fast as humanly possible kicked into high gear. As John helped Rodney pack up his gear, Ronon and Teyla took a look at the other two bodies.  
  
"What happened?" Ronon's gruff voice barley contained his anger at the situation, as he crouched down besides the body of the man Rodney had shot.  
  
"Long story, now's not the time. Nine minutes now."  
  
Heading out in the opposite direction of the 'Gate in hopes that circling around they would avoid the Wraith; Rodney's body started succumbing to shock as they picked their way through the woods. Taking his elbow as once again Rodney lagged behind John tried to get him to keep pace. After being out of reach of the scientist for the short two hours they were imprisoned, John would be damned if he left his side again.  
  
Now that the rush of adrenaline was leaving his body Rodney's vision blurred as the landscape around him dimmed slightly and he stumbled against John. After getting a somewhat satisfactory distance from both the Stargate and the structure John pulled them behind a large tree; as Teyla and Ronon automatically checked the perimeter giving John the opportunity to put his full attention on the scientist.  
  
What he saw made his heart catch in his throat. Rodney's skin had a pale sheen of sweat and his breath came in short gasps. "Rodney? What's wrong?" John asked, his eyes full of concern.  
  
"I don't know." Rodney managed to get out before a cough overtakes him, his eyes widen as he pulls his hand away spattered in bright red blood. Icy cold fear crawled up John's spine as Rodney's baby blue eyes widened. John moved in to assist his now obviously wounded friend by wrapping one arm around his waist and throwing Rodney's arm over his shoulders, but as he did so a yelp of pain ripped from Rodney. John could feel wetness and his brain registered that there was blood on the back of his friend, fresh blood.  
  
Full fledge panic set in as he set Rodney down as carefully as possible, shaky fingers moved quickly over the hole now visible in Rodney's black uniform. Blood leaked sporadically with each shaky breath. Terror shook John's body to the core and for the first time since he had known the cranky scientist he was at a loss for words. His wide hazel eyes met Rodney's who seemed just as surprised to see the blood that now coated the Colonel's hands.  
  
"I didn't even know," Rodney's quivering voice whispered out. He chuckled to himself as he contemplated the possibility that for once his body hadn't told him when something was wrong. "I'm sorry, John," Rodney's apology was barely audible as his eyes began to droop.  
  
"Rodney? No, no, no,no. Stay with me buddy, stay with me." John begged as Rodney's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he slumped to the side, his body not able to handle any more. Desperately taking Rodney's face between his hands, John pleaded with the unconscious man to open those blue eyes for him, but his pleas went unheard.  
  
"Ronon! Teyla!" His eyes never left Rodney's pale face, petrified of losing him. After a few deep breaths he managed to calm his frightened voice enough to get words out. "Rodney has been shot. We, we, we need to get him home NOW!"  
  
The moment the words leave his mouth, he could see his team rushing to their side. Teyla's strong hands landed on his shoulder somehow making his trembling lessen; while Ronon crouched down to check for a pulse. "He's still alive, but barely," Ronon advised helping them pull the dying man off the ground.  
  
"They're getting closer. I can feel it," Teyla spoke quietly taking one side of Rodney while John took the other.  
  
"Head back to the 'Gate. I'll keep them back long enough for you to make it."  
  
It was a good plan, but John's mind ran over the cons of it. "You'll get caught."  
  
"Go! You don't have much time." Ronon growled already taking a few steps away from them. "I'll be right behind you. Trust me; I don't have any intention of letting those bastards take me again." With one last look back at his commanding officer, he took off in the direction they came.  
  
"We must go now." Teyla forced the words out, feeling the same way John did about the possibility of losing Ronon too. Not trusting his voice, John nods to her starting the track back to the 'Gate.  
  
The journey was hard and far too slow for John's liking but when the 'Gate came into sight he wasn't surprised to see two guards standing before the DHD. Reluctantly, both had to leave Rodney's side to dispatch them. It was quick but it felt like years to John. Teyla helped John with Rodney before being order to run ahead to dial the 'Gate. She called ahead for medical back up and informed them of the Wraith tailing them.  
  
John was just reaching the 'Gate when the sounds of blasters echoed off the surrounding trees. He hesitated, torn in wanting to help Ronon and getting Rodney to safety. He had no time to decide as he saw the tall man running their direction shooting behind him as he went. "Move!" Ronon bellowed as John and Teyla picked up the pace.  
  
Stumbling through the other side, Ronon jumped in right beside them. "Shut down the 'Gate!" John ordered clenching Rodney to his side. He was relieved to see Keller already standing by rushing towards them just as the wormhole closed behind them. Things seemed to blur the moment John placed Rodney onto the gurney, unwilling to let go but Teyla's firm hands pried them lose. Keller's team swarmed around the downed scientist in a hurry to get him to the infirmary.  
  
"Colonel, what happened?" Elizabeth's worry was radiating through her normally diplomatic voice as she quickly descended the stairs of the 'Gate room. John's eyes left Rodney's frail form to look in her direction. He didn't want to leave his side for fear that it would be the last time he'd see him alive. With pride welling up in him, John saw Ronon intercepting her with answers allowing Teyla to walk John to the infirmary.  
  
The brief journey to the infirmary was so surreal, briskly walking with Teyla guarding his side, keeping onlookers at bay, and even though he felt grateful to his two friends he knew that the journey would forever haunt him. All he could see was red; there was so much blood, so much so that the small hope that was living in his chest was starting to dwindle. As if sensing his fears Teyla whispered, "Have faith." It always amazed him how well she could read him.  
  
When they reached the infirmary, the trimmers that he had fought so hard to keep at bay came crashing forward with full force; he felt as if his world was crashing around him. He couldn't see life without the scientist, Rodney was life itself. There was no point to anything without the brash, egotistical man by his side.  
  
John's head snapped up from looking at his hands as a cry of pain erupted from the swarm of bodies before him. Rodney's scream had John rushing to get to his side but he couldn't find an in with all the medical personnel surrounding him. "Rodney, calm down! Do you know where you are?" Keller was trying to get through to him but Rodney wasn't coherent enough and was fighting the medical team as they tried to hook him up to IV's.  
  
Seeing that her words weren't getting a reaction from the hurt man, Keller waved aside a nurse to allow John access. Without hesitating, John took a hold of Rodney's hand bending down to be at his level.  
  
"Rodney. It's ok. We're home now." Not even thinking about what he was doing he pressed his face to Rodney's to talk into his ear. He could feel Rodney's tremble run right through him. "You need to calm down and let the nice Doc work her magic." At the sound of John's voice the hurt man's thrashing became less as Rodney pressed his face into John's in a vain attempt to crawl closer. "Everyone is ok, but you. You did it. You got us out. Now it's time for you to rest, buddy. Everything is going to be alright." Even as the words left his mouth John felt it sting like a lie, but then he remembered Teyla's words to have faith. Rodney's hand gripped John's painfully, but John realized suddenly he didn't mind. Pulling back John met wide blue eyes, and hoped that his own hazel didn't betray his fears. "Relax, buddy. You did good." With that final praise Rodney's grip loosened and fell limp; trusting John's words.  
  
The moment that Rodney calmed down, John was pushed once again back into Teyla's awaiting hands. It seemed to take forever but finally when medical team had gotten every line of tubing possible attached to Rodney, they whisked him away to the OR. Time seemed to stretch into oblivion as John stood there watching the closed doors. Teyla's low voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Let's get you cleaned up," she coaxed, gently tugging on his arms to get him into motion.  
  
He sat numbly in a chair while Teyla crouched in front of him with a bowl of water and a towel. She knew it would be useless to try and get him to leave long enough to shower, so she improvised instead. John was so intent on staring holes through his hands that he jumped at the cold wetness against his cheek. Teyla was gentle with him as she wiped away the smudges of dry blood from his cheek. He seriously doubted that no matter how much she cleaned him, the blood will forever remain imprinted on his skin.  
  
He was embarrassed with himself as she helped him clean and change into a pair of scrubs but he couldn't find himself caring enough to act on it. Besides, she was family. John was barely aware as Teyla helped him onto an empty bed; he was way past the point of being able to think for himself, with Rodney in surgery close by and yet miles away. A smart part of his numb brain acknowledged that he was lucky to have such a great team.  
  
A few moments later Ronon entered with Elizabeth close behind him. They share a quite conversation with Teyla, but John doesn't care what they’re saying, so wrapped up in his own version of hell. Nobody in the room could meet his eyes, saddened by his expression, and John couldn't bare seeing the sympathy there, so he kept his eyes cast downward at the hands resting in his lap, missing the sadden look Elizabeth gave him before she headed back to the control tower.  
  
Time seemed to stop or have any meaning at all for the three people sitting watching the door they had taken Rodney through. A few nurses since then had tried to get them to go eat something in the meantime, but eventually they gave up since no one wanted to budge. Teyla had taken up a perch on the end of the bed that John was occupying, while Ronon sat in a chair angled to face the door with his feet propped up on the same bed. It was Ronon who was the first to break the heavy silence.  
  
"I checked the bodies," he said looking up to see if anyone had heard him. John and Teyla both met his eyes with a questioning look. "The two outside the room," he elaborated, sitting up and pulling his long legs off the bed in order to lean forward and rest his elbows on them. "They must have been Wraith worshippers sent to check on the catch." Teyla nodded agreeing with his theory while John just listened intently, no expression ever crossing his face. "He must have gotten jumped." The smile on Ronon's face nearly made John jump up and punch him square in the jaw. He couldn't see how Ronon would even remotely begin to think how the situation that had put Rodney in the OR was remotely funny, but he managed to refrain himself as he recognized Ronon's pride shining in his eyes. "McKay got him right between the eyes," he added, his smile widening at the thought. "Mustn't have gotten the memo to not mess with a genius on a time frame," Ronon laughed using Rodney's term.  
  
His laugh seemed to be contagious as Teyla tried to hold back, covering her mouth with a giggle before turning it into a full on laugh. John chuckled, feeling so relived to laugh if not for one last time. He doubted that if Rodney didn't make it through surgery he'd ever laugh again. Elizabeth stepped back into the room with a corked eyebrow, not expecting to walk in and find this group laughing. Seeing her reaction to them made them all laugh harder till tears were pouring down their faces.  
  
"Do I even want to know?" she asked taking up a seat next to Ronon, finding it very inappropriate to laugh at a time like this. Her expression once again set them all off again. Realizing that it was an inside joke between the team made Elizabeth smile fondly.  
  
Eventually the laughter died back down into silence, each person thinking about the winey, sarcastic, egotistical, brave, loving man that was currently hanging in the balance of life and death.  
  
Hours seemed to pass in a haze before anyone emerged from the OR. Elizabeth had excused herself some time ago, making them promise to keep her posted. Ronon and Teyla had fallen asleep, but John was wide awake as two nurses stumbled out looking exhausted, but it wasn't until Keller staggered out covered in blood that John reacted. He sat up in the bed and lightly tapped Teyla awake. Following his hopeful gaze she then not so kindly slapped Ronon's leg to wake him. The three watched anxiously as she slumped down in a nearby chair slowly taking her hair net and gown off. They could see she was asleep on her feet, her grim face too tired to hide anything from the hopeful group.  
  
Dread seemed to pool around the lower extremities of John and rise up him like a quickening tide, his trembling took over again with the anticipation of what he was sure now was bad news. The hole in his stomach threatened to swallow him whole as Keller approached them. He was vaguely aware that Teyla had laid a light but firm hand on his leg, her way of trying to ground him and show her support.  
  
The silence was thick, making her sigh loud in their ears. "We lost him a few times, but he's stable now." Her voice was low with dread as she took a deep breath to continue the bad news. "We were able to extract the bullet, but there was damage to his spleen. We repaired as much of the damage that we could. Right now it's up to him."  
  
"When can we see him?" John's voice was shaky but he felt a small shimmer of hope loosen the cold fear that had wrapped it's self around his chest. He could tell by the look on her face that Keller was going to try and order them to their rooms till the next day. Their eyes locked for a moment and he saw the exhaustion and the determination there, but then her gaze wavered to his other team mates and he saw her resolve soften.  
  
"We're going to be putting him in a private room in just a moment. Once he's there you can see him one at a time."  
  
John sighed with relief. At least it was a start. He was alive. Rodney was alive! Right now that was all that mattered. He found his footing again as they followed Keller to the room where they had already moved Rodney. As they approached John saw that Teyla and Ronon were lagging behind a bit.  
  
His eyebrow rose in an unspoken question, Teyla laid a hand on his arm, cutting off the question before it left his lips. "We want you to go first. Ronon and I will see him in the morning." John was about to protest but Teyla cut him off before he could start. "It is more important that you are with him now."  
  
"He'd want to see you guys too," he sounded lame with the half protest but he knew the CSO would want to see them just as much as they wanted to see him.  
  
"And he will. But I believe that he will want to see you most of all." John was about to go on in protest that they were family too and they shouldn't be cast aside like that, but something in both of their eyes made John realize that they knew that and that they also knew of John's feelings for the injured man who was now only a doorway away. He had never even realized, but then again Teyla could always read him before he could even read himself.  
  
"I'm sorry." John sighed, bowing his head not knowing how to fix the situation; even as he knew that it might not be something that needed fixing. He just couldn't shake the sudden guilty feeling bubbling up from his gut.  
  
"Don't be," came Ronon's low tone as he lightly punched him on the arm. "He'll get sick of seeing us soon enough."  
  
As John smiled at realizing that they were cool with the situation, Teyla pulled his forehead to hers. "We will be back in the morning." And with that, his team left to get some sleep as it was nearing four in the morning.  
  
"Colonel, you can see him now." Keller's soft, tired voice brought him back to the here and now.  
  
John nodded to her before entering the private room. He guessed that he shouldn't have been shocked, but the pale frail form connected to too many machines and IV's still took him by surprise. The only indication that Keller hadn't been lying to him was the heart monitor beating steadily in the background.  
  
"I'll be heading off now. If you need anything, Dr. Bail is on duty." Not expecting a reply, Keller left John alone with Rodney.  
  
John pulled up a chair next to Rodney's bed, feeling that at any time his legs would give out. Hesitantly, he took one of Rodney's pale hands in his tan one. He felt cold and lifeless. His eyes looked bruised and his lips void of color. John was finding it hard not to just climb in bed with him, to feel more than just his fingers. But there were too many wires and he was afraid of hurting him. Besides that would be interesting to try and explain should someone walk in or God forbid, Rodney woke up.  
  
He didn't know how he'd approach the subject, but he knew that he had to tell Rodney how he felt. This little encounter reminded him how precious time here was. They could die at any moment. John didn't want either of them going out with his regret hanging over him. Even if Rodney turned out to be disgusted with him, he was alright with that, as long as he still remained alive. John had thought about it long and hard, and had almost came out and just said it to him on many occasions but reframed from doing so either by distractions or his own fear of rejection.  
  
Rodney was his best friend, the only person who knew him and accepted him. If he lost that, what more was there to hold onto? Sure he was well liked by others, even admired by some, but most of his outward appearance was a cover up. Rodney was the one to admire, not him. He took things a face value and still then saw more than anyone else thought to look for. He spoke his mind with no regrets, and did things that no normal human being should be capable of. Rodney truly was a genius. Contrary to what the scientist believed, he was more socially adept then he gave himself credit for. He was liked by others and he really was a great man. And he was handsome.  
  
John sighed at the thought. Rodney didn't ever see how good looking he was. John himself never thought that he'd be the type to ever think that he could be attracted to another man, but then there was Rodney. Rodney was way above anyone he'd ever been with. The fact that he was a man never crossed his mind till one day he caught himself checking Rodney's butt out for longer than he'd care to admit. John could remember that day of panic as he realized what he had been doing and had a mini break down questioning his own sexuality. His own stupidity even thought that if he could avoid Rodney for a while that urge to kiss him would vanish but then it back fired on him making him want Rodney even more.  
  
His protective streak hadn't changed proving that his attraction hadn't just come out of nowhere but in fact had been there all along. Hell, they have been practically dating for years now and haven't even known it. All the late night movies, chess games, remote control car races and even those nights that they'd sit in each other's rooms and just read or got caught up on paper work, had all been dates. John Sheppard of the USAF was dating and in love with the smartest man in two galaxies.  
  
There, he had admitted it. Now if only he could say it out loud. That was the hard part. He had never said those words to another willingly. He never had to. It was always a fling of sorts. He had never had to put himself out on a limb before and for the first time John was scared. His ex-wife hadn't meant this much to him. This was all new territory. What ifs ran circles around his head till he finally fell asleep with his head on the bed and their hands still entwined.  
  
A nurse woke him a few hours later when she came in to check on Rodney and change his bandages. John was ever so grateful that the fact that he was still holding Rodney's hand wasn't frowned upon. In fact, the nurse smiled before tending to her patient. John couldn't help the sick feeling returning at the sight of the wound just left of Rodney's navel. It was red around the stitches, a great contrast to the pale skin surrounding it. Off a little more from there was a faint scar from where he had shot him a year or so ago while hallucinating on that Phantom planet. Grief at the remembrance shook him hard making him tighten his grip on Rodney's hand. He could still see the look on Rodney's face when he raised that gun in his direction. The fear in those ever expressive eyes gave him nightmares for weeks after. If it weren't for Teyla's fast thinking, his aim would have been much higher and much more deadly than the flesh wound he received. Yet another example of how a simple mission can go so very wrong in a heartbeat.  
  
"Colonel." John was broken out of his thoughts of remorse by the nurse finishing up. "Dr. Keller will be back in a short while. If you care to stay with Dr. McKay longer, I suggest that our stories are straight." John raised a questioning brow wondering where she was going with this. "You have slept for the last couple of hours in a bed and are now sitting here. Just between us. Otherwise she will kick you out."  
  
John stared at her for a moment seeing the truth behind her story and agreed with a chuckle. "Thanks. Good to see I have someone else on my side."  
  
The nurse blushed, seemingly liking getting his approval. "Yes, well. Dr. McKay will be happy to see you. It'll do him some good. Let him know that there are others that care about him." Her sadden expression confirmed what John had thought. Others did really like him; he just couldn't wrap his genius mind around it. "What better person to wake up to," she added, leaving John stunned. Instead of dwelling on the nurse's words, John settled down for the duration. His eyes began to droop minutes later from the lulling sound of the heart monitor.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
His hand felt warm. That was the first real sensation he had felt coming back from the darkness. 'Keller must have given me the good stuff', was his first thought, finding it hard to open his eyes or just move in general. The blinding light shining through his closed lids stung; so with a thought, the lights dimmed around him before he would even attempt to open them. Movement at his side drew his attention to that direction. Through the slits he had managed to open, he saw the cause of that warmth on his hand. Forcing his eyes open further, he confirmed the identity of who was responsible. John was curled awkwardly in a big chair, legs drawn up and neck bent painfully to one side. His hand rested lightly on top of Rodney's and would every so often clasp it in his dream state.  
  
Rodney watched for a while, confused by the Colonel's action. He decided that it was a good feeling and so wanted to observe it a little while longer. John had never been a touchy feely guy and for him to be sitting there like this with his hand on his, Rodney knew that it must have been bad. Rodney wondered about his own condition but found that it didn't really matter, not with this rare sight before him. So he watched John sleep for a bit longer, hooking his thumb with Johns pinky before succumbing to sleep once again.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It was the noise of voices that caused Rodney to come back to himself. Though he couldn't find the strength to open his eyes this time, he did manage to defog his brain enough to hear what was being said. He could hear three speaking and could identity them as Dr Keller, Teyla and of course Sheppard, but he could imagine Ronon was there as well glaring at the three arguing.  
  
"How much longer is he going to be out?"  
  
"I told you, Colonel, he'll wake when he wakes. I have no way of telling when he'll come around," came Keller's less than patient reply.  
  
"It's been two days!" John's aggravation was coming out in his voice. "You said that he was getting better right?"  
  
"He is," she confirmed. Rodney could almost hear her crossing her arms over her chest. "Which I should also bring up the fact that since he is out of the woods that he no longer needs a 24 hour watch party," she started with her doctor voice clearly in place. "Which means, Colonel, that you need to go to bed."  
  
"Dr Keller," Teyla's diplomatic voice chimed in before things could get ugly. "Colonel Sheppard has not caused any problems with Dr McKay's recovery. Am I correct?"  
  
"Well, no, but he hasn't left since he got here."  
  
"And am I safe to assume that if it were not for fact that Colonel Sheppard kept watch over Dr McKay then your staff would be in his position, taking away time from other patients in need of care?"  
  
Oh, Teyla was on a roll, Rodney couldn't help thinking.  
  
"True."  
  
"Your concern with him sleeping is the point here, yes?" Rodney couldn't hear Keller's reply. "I would like to vouch for him that he has indeed slept since being here as well as some of your staff."  
  
"We feed him too," came Ronon's grumpy voice from somewhere else in the room.  
  
"I'm not an animal," John half heartedly pointed out.  
  
Keller's sigh of frustration echoed in his ears. "Just once, I'd like to hear 'yes, Dr Keller, will do' from you bunch."  
  
"But then where would the fun in that be?" John's too innocent response no doubt received him a glare in return.  
  
"Alright, but the moment that you slip up, you're out. Got it?"  
  
"Yes, Dr Keller, will do."  
  
John was such a smart ass. It's a wonder he's an officer. Rodney couldn't deny the feeling of relief at knowing that when he could manage to wake properly, his team would be there, most importantly; John would be by his side.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Both Rodney and John looked less like corpses as the time went on. Teyla and Ronon stopped by regularly to keep watch while John reluctantly went to his room for a few hours to get cleaned up and made rounds on his city, but still stubbornly slept by Rodney's side at night. As Rodney's condition improved the tubes and machines decreased as well. His colour returned and he looked less frail.  
  
Each time John returned, his anticipation grew in hopes of seeing Rodney's blue eyes. He'd dreamed of such a blue, the blue of sky that was only reachable in high altitudes. It was his eyes that always drew him to the scientist. Nobody else had that shade, it was uniquely Rodney's.  
  
On the few occasions that he was awake at night when the nurses came to check Rodney's vitals, John would see hints of smiles when they thought that he wasn't looking. At first it unnerved him, knowing that he was being transparent in his feelings, but after awhile he was happy to see acceptance instead of disgust. True, they were girls, and who knows what girls deemed cute now a days, but it was still good to see that he wasn't being shunned. The risks were still real, but seeing others lack of hatred for his not so platonic actions towards Rodney gave him hope. They were a family on Atlantis. He was sure that as long as it wasn't shoved in their faces, then there would be no issues with their CO being in a relationship with another man. In fact, he was aware of a few couples on base with the same situation.  
  
The only hurdle being Rodney, who he was sure was straight, but then again he surprised himself with the possibility. Never would he have thought about swinging to the other side, and he was sure that he still wouldn't, but there was something about Rodney and only Rodney. He was scared to see what Rodney's reaction would be if he ever got the chance to confide in him. John knew that he had to; he couldn't go on hiding, not to Rodney. The worst case scenario would be Rodney flipping out and not wanting anything to do with him, their friendship in which he holds so dear dwindling right before his eyes. But like Teyla had said, 'have faith'. So that was what kept him optimistic. John had come too close to losing Rodney once again. He didn't want to go on with regrets of what could have been.  
  
~*~*~  
  
As John lay his head down on the side of Rodney's bed, eyes drooping from emotional exhaustion, he reached out to the man interlacing the tips of their fingers together in a half attempt of holding. He didn't notice the crack of blue looking his way before he finally succumbed to sleep.  
  
Rodney watched the sleeping man, once again awed by the affection John was bestowing upon him. John's ruffled, still damp hair covered his eyes making him look years younger than they both felt. Seeing him in his civis, blue jeans and a hoody spoke volumes of John's worry for him. The last few times he remembered waking, John was always by his side.  
  
The sound of the door swooshing open drew Rodney's thoughts away from the sleeping form beside him. Teyla stopped in the door way with a tray in her hand, presumably bringing John his dinner. Catching Teyla's eye, Rodney quietly placed a finger to his mouth. Her eyes brightened at the sight of her brother awake finally after four long days.  
  
"Don't wake him." Rodney whispered clearly still drained from the effort. Teyla quietly placed the tray down on a nearby table, then reached for a glass of water. Placing the straw to Rodney's lips she received a grateful smile in return. Once taking the cup away, Teyla placed a loving hand to Rodney's forehead, petting his bangs back from his brow.  
  
"We have been so worried about you," she whispered looking down at John where Rodney's gaze had returned. Then with a gentle hand she turned Rodney's chin to look him in the eye. "Thank you for what you continue to do."  
  
Rodney looked at her puzzled before he found her forehead pressed to his in an Athosian gesture. "What else is family for?" he asked, trying to get his normal replies to come and cover this uncomfortable feeling he was getting from receiving such attention.  
  
Teyla smiled at his response making Rodney question what he had said. "You are correct. This is what family is all about." Her smile made him feel accomplished for some reason. No bit of science had ever made him feel this complete. "Be kind to him. He is worried."  
  
Rodney scowled at her retreating back as she left the room. "What's that supposed to mean?" he wondered out loud. Clearly it had something to do with the way John was acting. But in his defense, he'd never intentionally hurt the man. John meant too much to him, possibly a little too much. He was his best friend; the only one in two galaxies that truly understood him and could look past all of his faults to allow that friendship to form. Not to mention the fact that they were two completely different people; the jock and the geek, who'd thought? But somehow, it worked. John was smart, funny (though, he'd never admit that to him under torture), and boy was he handsome. Yes, he had scolded himself for ever thinking it, but there was just no denying it, even with that crazy, flyboy superman hair of his.  
  
Rodney thought about him for a long time while watching his sleeping form. He took Johns hand in a proper embrace before falling back into a restful sleep.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
To Rodney's surprise, he woke before John did. It was becoming easier to be awake now that the drugs Keller gave him weren't holding him back. His concern grew for his friend, seeing the tired lines below his eyes. The fact that he was still asleep made him feel guilty for having him here. He was alive and from what he gathered, he was going to pull through; although now that the drugs were wearing off he doubted the truth in that. But there was no reason for him to have to spend all of his time with him. He was humbled though. As much as he had always dreamed of waking with John by his side, he didn't want for it to be a burden. He was sure that John was going to feel it when he woke. There was no way sleeping the way he was could be beneficial.  
  
Rodney couldn't help himself from touching John's tousled hair. It was surprisingly soft. His fingers began to roam through the dark brown hair then traveled down to the side of his face. The stubble prickled his fingers, but in a nice way. He could definitely pull off the scruffy look. The stroking caused John to stir and for a moment Rodney contemplated stopping but then decided the hell with it, he could always blame it on the drugs. To his relief, John leaned into the touch basking in the feel of his gentle fingers before opening his eyes.  
  
Hazel met blue for what felt like eternity before John sat up and away from Rodney's reach. "Hey," John's placid greeting sent butterflies fluttering in Rodney's stomach.  
  
"Hey, yourself." To Rodney's relief, John reached for his hand once again. He couldn't understand the feeling of loss till it wasn't there. In the short time he was laid up in here, John's hand in his had become a constant comfort for him. John seemed to be struggling for words, so Rodney took it out of his hands. "You know, you are only going to end up crippled if you keep sleeping like that."  
  
John chuckled lightly raising his free hand up to rub at his sore neck. "I have no doubt in that." The silence was thick but not uncomfortable. John's gaze dropped to their joined hands, watching as Rodney unnoticeably rubbed circles with his thumb. "There's something I need to say."  
  
"You don't need to thank me. Teyla already did that on behalf of the team." John looked at him in confusion, wondering when Teyla could have told him. "She came by a little bit ago with dinner for you." Rodney clarified nodding towards the table that held the tray of cold food on it.  
  
"Why didn't you wake me?"  
  
"Cause you were tired, and I was tired and there was just too much effort involved," Rodney joked with a slight shrug. "Besides, you're awake now."  
  
The silence grew again but this time Rodney could sense John's difficulty in finding his words. "There's something else I think you should know." As John collected his thoughts, Rodney started to feel uneasy by how difficult John was making this conversation. Rodney remained silent waiting for the other shoe to drop. He had no idea what John was about to say but he had a feeling that it wasn't good and it involved him.  
  
"Sit down. You're making me nervous," Rodney ordered after watching John fidget where he stood. John sat with a huff on the side of the bed, mad at himself for freezing up like a teenager asking a girl out to prom. "What did I do? I know that the mission was my idea and all but what did I do?"  
  
John looked up sharp in confusion. "You got shot!" he stated as if that explained it all.  
  
"Hey, that wasn't my fault! I was jumped!" Rodney protested, not seeing as how this was the cause of such scrutiny. "And as I recall, I took care of that situation rather well, besides the whole getting shot thing."  
  
"Yeah, you did good," John conceded looking down at his shaking hands.  
  
"Then what's the problem?" John refused to look at him and found that his courage to get to the point was flying away from him. "John?"  
  
As Rodney covered John's shaking hands, John instantly felt the warmth they offered. He looked up at him with a gulp. "I was scared, Rodney." Before Rodney could reply to that John gave him a look to let him continue. "You shouldn't have had to do that. I should have been there to protect you."  
  
"It worked out didn't it?"  
  
"Barely! I could have lost you! And there wouldn't have been a thing I could have done to stop it!" John's outburst shocked Rodney, but the 'I' instead of 'We' didn't go unmissed.  
  
"I?"  
  
John's breath came out in pants from the heavy emotion that had developed. "Yes, I. And I wouldn't have had the chance to tell you the truth. And before you get mad at me and start to over think this, hear me out, cause I'm only going to be able to say this once and then you'll probably never want to speak to me again but at lease you'll know and...."  
  
"Whoa, John. Slow down. I'm sure whatever is bugging you," John gave him a startled look at the mention of a bug. "Sorry, wrong word. Whatever is bothering you can't be that bad."  
  
"I love you." John blurted out in a challenge, searching Rodney's face for a reaction. "I've been in love with you for some time now and I can't go on with this regret of not telling you." Rodney's bright blue eyes widen in shock never expecting this possibility. "Please, just say something," John begged for the first time not being able to read what Rodney was thinking.  
  
"That's it?" Rodney asked stupidly with a sigh of relief.  
  
John looked appalled by his response. "'That's it'? Rodney..."  
  
"Whew, I thought I was in trouble for a moment there." Rodney admitted but then hung onto John as he stood to get away, thinking Rodney's lack of a serious response was a rejection. Rodney pulled with all his might getting John to half lie on the bed with him. "Really?"  
  
John nodded trying to pull away but Rodney held him in a strong hug.  
  
"Can you please let me go and let me wallow in my own misery?" John begged trying with little effort to get loose but finally gave up laying his head down on Rodney's shoulder so he at lease didn't have to look at him.  
  
"Idiot, why would you ever think that I'd push the hottest man in two galaxies away?"  
  
"Hottest man in two galaxies?"  
  
"I don't usually swing that way, but even I'm not that blind," Rodney clarified by kissing the top of Johns head. "Me too, for some time now."  
  
Rodney allowed John to sit up at that moment so he could see he was being serious. "Really?" Rodney nodded. "You're not just saying that to save me face are you?"  
  
Rodney took both sides of John face in his hands before sighing. "John, when have you ever known me to lie?" Wanting to see the truth in his words, John leaned down giving Rodney the chance to change his mind before placing a gentle kiss to Rodney's lips. John pulled back to observe Rodney's reaction still fearful that Rodney was just humoring him; his closed eyes making it hard to tell. "And to think, it only took me getting shot for you to finally do that," Rodney sighed with a smile forming on his lips, bright blue eyes opening to reveal how much he had enjoyed that.  
  
"Shut up Rodney," John chuckled with relief before taking his sweet lips again in a more passionate kiss. It was electrifying and yet sweet at the same time. Like two halves coming together to form a whole. Time just stood still as they explored each other's mouths with an almost desperate hunger. Neither wanting to give ground, fighting for dominance that somehow made the kiss the best that John had ever had. He should have known that Rodney would put his brilliant mind into everything. He was sure that Rodney was determined to turn him inside out with this one brain melting kiss. His dreams were nothing in compare to the real thing. This was perfect.  
  
John could have kissed him forever, but the uncontrollable yawn from Rodney reminded them both of Rodney's condition with reluctance reminding them of where they were and why. In the short time that they were awake, John had gone from a puddle of goo and back again with just a few mind blowing kisses. "I'm sorry," he breathed, leaning in to him nose to nose trying to savor the moment.  
  
"It's my fault. This is the longest I've been awake." Rodney countered a bigger yawn reiterating the fact. "Promise me you won't run?" Rodney's grip on his arms spoke volumes of his fear.  
  
"Run? Me?" John asked grin playing at his lips. Pulling a bit back to run his finger tips along Rodney's face, he tried to reassure him before panic could set in.  
  
"Yes, you. Anything that has to do with emotions you go running screaming into the night," Rodney pointed out swallowing with a gulp, as he realized that John just might do that.  
  
John was trying to make light of the situation but the fear in Rodney's eyes was real. "I'm not going anywhere, promise," he swore looking deeply into Rodney's eyes to convey his intentions.  
  
"Lay with me?" Rodney asked determined that he trusted John's words while fighting hard to remain awake.  
  
John was hesitant at first, thinking of all of the bad possibilities that could arise should they be caught, but thinking back at the nurses reactions to him sitting here, he doubted that it would be a problem. As carefully as he could, John rearranged them where he was laying on his side holding as much of Rodney as his condition would allow.  
  
"I'll be right here," he reassured as Rodney succumbed to sleep once again with his head resting against Johns shoulder. John had already forgotten his fear moments ago as he watched this wonderful man beside him. He couldn't keep himself from smiling in excitement. Rodney returned his feelings, how great was that? He couldn't wait to explore this new found relationship once Rodney was well enough. Life was short, but John vowed that he and Rodney would live it to the fullest without regrets.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Ronon came by hours later to relieve John from his watch. The whooshing sound of the door went unnoticed by the room's two occupants. He stopped in the doorway at the sight before him. With a sigh and a shake of his head, Ronon backed out of the room closing the door behind him. "About damn time," he grumbled, and pulled up a chair next to the door to keep guard on his two team mates sleeping in the room. Now that they had found each other, Ronon would be damned if their stupid military rules forced them apart again. He knew all too well of the dangers in this galaxy and to find love in the middle of a war was something to hold on to. Something to protect. He would make sure that his brothers were protected. And so he sat slumped in the chair daring anyone to question his motives.  
  
~*~*~*~*~


End file.
